The Sometimes Ex

Is he sleeping?
Well, good because we need to talk.
And i know that this comes as a shock because
the last time you tried to comminicate i threatend castration.

he's such a sound sleeper
and so quiet.
i miss your snoring.
once when he went away for a weekend
i put the big pot we boiled lobsters in
on our second anniversary of breaking up
and a big metal spoon
i placed both on my radiator and kicked up the heat.
i never slept so soundly.

and look at these!
his hands have no character
yours were filled with crevases and cracks
callouses and chapped knuckles that made noise on my arms.
if i wanted soft hands like his, i'd touch myself.

this is what single people do, isn't it?
well single in the sense that i'm seeing someone singularly
single in the way that i whisper your name when i burn myself on the stove
which you never fixed properly
single as in no longer part of the plual: like jack and jill, ben and jerry.
i'm just jerry looking for a better ben
but biding time with tom

all the while, the time with tom ticking on
he is like sushi, i can see all of him raw and exposed wond up tight
in bite size accountability.
no pang of a boney disapointment.

i miss the slippery way we crash and burn.
i miss the irredecence of your personality.

and your snoring.